hmmm. tday. normal sch day
ended at 1pm. right aft my alb test
easy though.
hmm aft that went to parway to pool with yong.
hmm then i found out that i lost my ic
farnie though i wasnt worried.
jus that well. i have that gut feeling
that sumone will post i back to me.
however i think i need to save money
dn know why either
the momment i realised i lost my ic
u appeared in my mind
or rather.. all along u have been there
right here, in my heart.
well well.
i think i m sinkin to a confusion state again
to a state wherey i'll think. think. n think
when my heart feels all the pain
all the sourish. feelin
feelin my heart cluuchtin tightly.
gosh man.
watched the show jus now.
they said love is subtle.
when u dun catch hold of that ting
it may jus disappear the very nex m
omment
haiz. irnoically
im sad now.
not becos if losing my ic
but im sinkin into my own thought again
2 =)
yea.
im really curiuos to know ur identity
dun tell me curiostiy kills the cat. =)
i want to shout it out loud.
i want to make my voice heard
that. I STILL LOVE U
i`ve made a wish ;
11:26 PM
according to the chinese ancient stories
there was this couple.
who were separated.
however. they were allowed to meet only once a year
and its on the 7th of july on the luna calendar
yeap. today is the day
n on thisday, it always rains.
becosthey are too happy to be reunited
hmmm... mugginf.
off.
haiz
7.35am
i`ve made a wish ;
7:38 AM
whew.. jus received news
pay gonna increase.
7 per hour
WAHAHAHAHa nicEE!!!!
yeap nothing much happen today]
hmm. yea...
cant really think of anyhing
my mind only filled with tml lab test
i have not even stdied
perharps tml morning.
im real tired.
2=)
hey. dun mind havin a guardian angel
but may i know ur name pls ?
hmm thanks so much yea
perharps we are on the same boat bah
yeap. perharps she'll be happy.
i wonder too much.
i dun know.
she still fills my mind yea...
thanks for cheerin me up k
2huiyi.
wahahaha i'll try to be happy de
not happy then we go airport chat again
hmm. ok lar.
thats all.
u.
still u
i`ve made a wish ;
11:37 PM
hmmm went to work ytd
went suntec to collectstock
then went back pp
reaached at 12. shiok.
hmm normal workin day
except i recived commision..
nowadays customers attitude are really bad
get them thier shoes n u r invisible
gosh. what kinda hell is this man
nvm. anyway. my digimon can battle liao
hahaha yea saw kyle n his family.
hmmmm
2 =)
yeap. thanks for u words
but i really do wonder
if i know u as a person ?
reveal ur identity?
hmm. uds what u are saying
but sum things are jus so hard to let go u know ?
maybe its i dun wana let go
maybe its i cant let go.
but defintely i know i stlll love that person
i still do.
sumtimes i tell myself
maybe when she found her right one
i'll let go
but. even though she might have someone beside her now
i still cant seem to let go.
contradicting yea?
life's like that.
anyway hope to know who u are
n thanks .
work work n more work.
today will be a bette day.
i hope.
i`ve made a wish ;
9:41 AM
hmmm a normal sch day i guess
xcept that i screwed up a easy paper
anyway now my class sufferin from digimon fever
all of us are playing that. retro eh ?
hmm aft sch rushed to biz lt20
lecture ended damn late so we ran there la
reach there. saw noone i know
all biz sch. as though we are aliens
n they look hostile.
then found out qian wasnt coming
but anyway the thing was open to all
so nvm yea.
hmm. aft that went to ps with my clicks.
ate there... tok... walk... play....
but then all left so early.
left me n hui yi takin mrt home
so we deicded not to go home
we actually went to airport.
kinda stupid. but we chatted chatted n chatted la
hmmm. i told her my probs
she tell me her probs.
untill eleven plus then we left
reached home almost twelve
sorry yea. let u go home alone.
haha. hmmm. gonna work
work n more work.
im still stuck here.
still. i dun wanna move forward
i'd rather give up everything in frnt of me
haiz. i guess i need to chill ba
heartache isnt jus a noun to describe feelings
cos i feel the acid rushin to my heart
i feel that sourish feelin in my heart
i feel my heart clumping tighty
thats called heartache.
i`ve made a wish ;
8:48 AM
hmmm. time to vent my frustration
sorry if i m abusive with my language
received a call from colleague ytd
wasnt suppose to know
but he inform me that i was ACTUALLY BEING COMPLAINED
not by customer, by sumone from office
pls yea. i work to serve customer
so what rights has u to complain me
when the customers arent even angry?
F*** off mann. dun get on my nerve
jus becos i chatted with my colleague
n u happen to see n u've got to complain
pls la. open ur eyes bigger
i aint those type who fool aroudn during work
n use ur bloody mind to think
u think this job is so nice? u wanna try n work
u wanna be treated with farkin attitudes?
u think u will like it?
what abt when i m doing very well
do u ever compliment?
pls la. think abt it man
i''d rather u complain starght to me
not by some backstabbin method ok
u made my day so farked up i tell u
i knw u work in office, hgh rank yea?
but how much u earn?
a pathetic 2ooo ?
i tell u. i promise myself
i'll do very well in my studies
get a very good job
rather than stayin in some shitty place
fark man.
one more complain
n i'll leave
generous with complains
stingy with compliemnts
u dare to say u arent biase?
NB!
gosh. this really gets on my nerve.
but i really gotta go mug for tml quiz.
kinda heavy.
you make my heart race
still.
i`ve made a wish ;
10:44 PM
yawns. slpt at 2am last night
msgin derek all the way
chattin like the way we used to in the past
yeaps. knda cool yea.
today in lab. tested urine
ewwks groosss experiment
aft that went to orchard with yong n yuan
n i spent 100 bucks in one receipt
one pair of jeans. one long sleeve
everyone boght sumthing yea.
hmm then yong was sharing with us his probs
then we jus walked, listened, and advised.
gosh tml theres a csas quiz.
im still not ready for it
i jus always not ready for everything
haiz
dun say sorry.
cos if wad im feelin is called pain
im sure wad u are feelin is a thousand time worst than mine
maybe i m jus too stubbrn to let it go.
aint ur fault.
life's a journey
whereby whichever route u take.
the path wll gonna be rough
dun fall. pick urself up
show ur smile girl.
cheer up.
dont feel bad abt me.
yawns. im tired.
aimlessly. im driftin along with the wind
not knowing where will it carry me to.
but i still follow it.
wil thre evr be a day?
i`ve made a wish ;
11:24 PM
omg. call this telepathy or whatever shit
dere bro actually msged me.
gosh. i think only u know me the best man.
u're always right when u comment bout me
cos i think only u know how i feel rigth
cos i think both of us is the same la
we never get what we wanted
nver. is this jus so unfair.
yeap. perhaprs u are right
in the past i was jus foolin around and stuffs
perharps she made me grew up
perharps thats all i an ask for
know that u still cant get over kelly
well. i cant get over her too
bt what can we do yea
its hard. its pain. i know.
we are jus so same in every way
haiz. sumtimes i reallly mis those days man
thanks for listenin to my sorrows kae bro.
i know u are fightin within urself also la
stay strong la.
i'll always be here.
bros for life man.
conduct a gatherin for all of us soon yea?
i`ve made a wish ;
1:18 AM
time flew so fast this few days.
i know why.
my mind is totally occupied
thats why my world seem' to spin so fast
sumtimes when i think
it really hurts so much
but i cant find any reason for me to cry
i cant find any reason to be sad
i cant find anything that made me feel this way
i dun know why
i think. but yet. im not accpetin the truth
im jus wasting energy
tryin to find another way out of the maze
but yet. the road has been liad for me
the destination has been set
the results are shown
i know what
maybe i m jus afriad
maybe i jus dun even wanna acept it.
gosh. lek bro
where are u seh
in jc liao. i really miss u la
i got so many xin shi u know?
haiz. then yuan busy enjoying his life
yong n shin like havin cold war
then im like trp in the middle.
kellly ar
i think i need a listening ear soon
real soon.
sms u some other time okae,
dun wanna affect ur studies. =)
at this momment
my heart stopped beating.
completely
it hurts
i`ve made a wish ;
11:30 PM
argh OC quiz.
fuck i flunked it
argh hell.
fell in love with this jeans at freshbox
im so gonna get it.
worked today.
tired.
my stomach
whats worng with it
im bloody irritated
haiz i feel so f*** up
i have so many things to say.
it seems tat a tornado swept past my world
and as time goes pass
i m jus slowly pickin everything up
tryin to figure out what realy happen
when i was caught in the whirl
in that split second of confusion
i seem to have miss out so many tings
i feel so pain.
aint anyone's fault
its my fault
cos i was stubborn
i stuck to my belif
i stuck to my own lie
i stuck to sumthing that perharps never existed
but i woke up sudddenly to realise all this
i really feel so pain.
i really died.
ni yao de.
yuan lai.
bu shi wo.
i`ve made a wish ;
11:46 PM
hmm jus drank a bottle of vodka at home
muunching the chips
watching tv
n there is a biohem quiz tml.
what the hell.
listening to nan quan mama
good bye good luck
haiz haiz haiz
not really in the mood to study,
gosh.... still have tutorials undone.
haiz. yea
tired
im realli too cooped up in my world
mmy work, my studies
n i dun even have tme to catch a breath
how is it possible that i can reach out for u
how can i be there for u?
for what my eyes see
theres already another tree
for u to lean on when u are down
for what i feel
is happy. yet hurt
perharps jealousy perharps pain
perharps happy for u
perharps.
im jus eluding myself
but in my eyes. i see
in my mind i think
in my heart
what if i still love ?
AHHHHH
studies now.
i`ve made a wish ;
10:11 AM
went for csas early in the morning.
well. the tutor said i was quiet
QUIET?!!
so she kept me until 10 plus
wile others can leave the room
gosh. then practice for the team discussion thing
n then she said iw asnt that quiet aft all
wahahahahz
went for biochem last prac
boring but fun
haha took alot pics. wahahah gonna miss lab
yea. consderin to join chinese orchestra
jus toe arn some seal points wahahah
haiz. tired.
saw sumthing i wanna buy yet no one wanna share with me
i can only say sumthing
far, futher n further
thats how my dream is away from me
haiz. is silence the only way
is this what everytihng meant to be
if it is.
perharps.
i'll try.
-good bye good luck
wht a song
how well it suits me
my heart
cracking
breaking
dissapearing.
i`ve made a wish ;
10:43 PM
gosh. suffered from diahorrea
or was it gastric
forced myself to eat
then so bloody tired
yea pipc tut wasnt that bad
until pipc lab.
stupid calculations
fers time i got so pissed over a lab
but in the end manged to get over it
went to bugis aft sch with classmate
well. wanted to by some apparel
but nothing caugh my eyes
in the end settled for some food
bought some bread n stuffs home for mum
reached home... did the cross culural finally
then ate dinner before meetin yuan
to study at mac.
finished topic 4 of biochem
gosh. still have some doubts
killin my time now
feelin slpy again....
you're tellin me u're so confused
you cant make up ur mind
is this meant to be
or u're asking me
but only love can say
try again or walk away
but i belive for u n me
the sun will shine one day
so i'll jus play my part
n pray u dun have a change of heart
nice song yea.
yeap.
imtearingmyheartapart.
i`ve made a wish ;
11:18 PM
woosh sufferin from headdache today
but still carried on workin
theres one thing i have to say
AN IN**AN shouted at me again
jus whats ur prob? argh
well. today saw many pple.
saw tom in the toilet
long time no see
couldnt recognise him for a momment
then debbie walked in
so blur la she. haha
think she kinda shocked when she see me
and hor. she clver enough to nv bring wallet to buy thing=X
wahahahz. so farnie.
yeap then came my cousins.
they din expect to see me thre too
yea. totally tired. exhausted
but i still got tut n pre labs to do
n i have to study for quizz
guess no slp for me tonight.
i miss u so.
Why did I let you walk away
And in the heat of the moment I was to blame
I must be stupid, must be crazy, must be out of my mind
Now in the cold light of the day I realize
Mirror mirror hanging on the wall
You don't have to tell me who's the biggest fool of all
Mirror mirror I wish you could lie to me
And bring my baby back,
bring my baby back to me
i`ve made a wish ;
12:44 AM
yeap jus reached home
slacked around tm then acc yuan home
hmmm yes chatted with ck last night
talkin abt decisions, emotions n things
yeap. emotions. its all suppressed within me
all contradcitin within me
yeap even someone who cheered me along
who belived in me
who still sees opputurnity in me
seems to hve changed his poin of view
perharps i hve to too
saw ambrose jus now
why do everyone ask me the same qn when they see me
how are things between u n her
cant u all jus tell eveything from my face
yea ambrose says i looked stressed
yes i am. totally.
over time, studies, basically everything
he says i m no longer the gary anymore
i thinkso too
im havin mood swings
i lost my temper easily
i stay silent
aiya whatever man
and my studies nvr seem to end
all those lec. tuts
all those quizzes
all my farkin results
argh.
im basically failin myself in everything i do
im losing confidence
gosh.
i need a happy day badly
haiz. i m jus compressed in this small box
which i nvr have enough space
which i wun be able to get out
my eyes were open
my mind was generating thoughts
but, my heart chose to ignore
argh
farked up man
those tears.
i`ve made a wish ;
11:53 PM
hmmm. dun know what hapened today
perharps wasnt in a good moood
actually went for HAP lec
but halfway thru
i got reall pissed n walked out the lt
met jing yong then went arcade
went to fill our stomach
n in the end we are late for the nex lecture
guys sorry if i showed any attitude
perharps i was moody sorry abt tt
hmmm. went for apel
talkin abt beliefs, consequences
and everything
izzit that i must correct my belief?
if so, what is that still considered a belief
everythin seems to contradict
i know.
i cant help it either.
im exhausted.
yet im still determined
argh.
i`ve made a wish ;
11:02 PM
hm. went for basketball after sch today
yea in the blzin sun
i wanna get tan
yeaps. then pj n his frens came to join
its been a long time since i exhaust myself so much
been so long that i layed so hard
as though i have let verything off
however i seem to have lost my passiion
i thought i excelled in it
but looks like i could not perfrm any better
anyway. i m very very tired now
feel like slpin
but so amny tut .
think leave them for tml
im slowly losing confidence
im slowly losing hope
im slowly losing my passion
im slowly losing control
im slowly killin myself
idrivemyselfcrazy
i`ve made a wish ;
11:14 PM
im tired of my life
studies n work.
im sick of everyting.
what can i do to numb myself?
so many things within me
but i dun know how to say
dun wan what to say
dun know what to do
i guess its because i fear
i think i know
but sumhow within me
im tellin myself its not
sumhow i m choosin not to belief
not to see, not to hear
tryin to close my eyes
fallin in the darkness
well. not reallly in the moood to blog.
i need to study but im not
ahhh. i'll be fiine in a while
i hope.
come on rain
fall on me
come on lightning
strike on me
i refuse to submit myself.
i`ve made a wish ;
9:09 PM
Why is it that people can make something
so simple to be so complicated?
Why is it that people find it so hard to let go,
when it hurts so much holding on?
Why is it that people find strength from the same person
that can bring them weakness?
Why is it so fragile, despite the all the efforts we spent
keeping it alive?
kinda came across this.
ESP from meiping.
quite true eh?
well. today had two labs
boring me to death
tml still have to go sch.
aft sch met yong n yuan n luo
then went with yuan n yong go pp cut hair
n before that
we went rracing. n i won all 4 rounds
i drive well when im feelin lousy i guess
then aft tt went for pool
walked around pp
went home.
yeaps. sumtimes it really makes me wonder
why do the earth rotates for
why don't it just stop
why dun everything jus freeze
in that case at least for a momment
everything stays still
n i'd get a clearer picture of everything
sumtimes i wonder alot of things
but i cant seem to find the ans
i tried to console myself
by tellin myself nothing had happened
but im so farkin pissed
it really hurts
to be treated like invisible
i need an outlet
i cant seem to control my temper any more
i cant seem to hold on to myself
im losing control
over every single thing
dun wish to swear.
dun wish to talk anymore
if only.
i`ve made a wish ;
10:59 PM
hm. finally i manged to get in here
pissed. damn internet
hasnt been online for many days.
its either i was too tired. too busy.
or my sis was using the com.
yeap. must thank kelly for ur present!
loved it!
thanks bryan n derek
love ur present too.
miss ya guys so much
thanks hui yi n siying for ur liang teh ok
n thanks for acc me for my dinner break
i had a dream
but i din work towards it
i had great plan
but i had no courage
i have determination
but i forgot i was running out of time
i had strong beliefs
but yet im doubting myself
i tot i knew everything
but i lost myself in every single thing
i had the chance
but
i think i might have lost it
i tot things were in my control
but yet i was under everything's control
i tot i could force myself to walk away
but i jus cant do it
i tot i could forget
but everything remains there
i tot i could stop lovin u
but yet i cant
i tot i was foolish
but i was definitely not
i tot everything was possible
but it seems mission impossible now
i've tot i lost everything
yes. i did.
sometimes
i know thatspeakin too much does me not good
so i learnt to remain in silent
caring in silence
loving in silence
but yet perharps i was too silent
n some how i disappeared in the silence
thanks dan
thanks for ya advices
worries bring me no where
i uds. yea.
hmmm....
i treasured the past too much
that i held too hard
to cause the pain
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh
i feel the need to play bsketball
i need to release everything within me!
can sumone jus pop up to listen to my sorrow??
work
work
slp
i`ve made a wish ;
10:54 PM
down
down down
met yuan n luo
went to by the beach restaurant
drank there
ate there
the bill was hndred over
hmm yeap
thanks for acc me guys
cos im feelin so ddarn down
haiz.
i`ve made a wish ;
12:22 AM
erm. super tired after work.
jus feel like slpin
but goota lots work ndone for tml
gosh.
well. super duper confused
not a blogger's day.
nights.
i`ve made a wish ;
12:01 AM
hm. do i relly understand
or. am i still tryin to digest
im sitting right here
doing absoulutely nothing
since so, how could i possibly get what i want
i think i've got everything
as in i think i know
yeaps.. well.
maybe not going to blog anymore
dun know.
super-duper confused
haiz.
i`ve made a wish ;
8:48 AM
hmm. today went to work early
jsu to catch my breakfast at mac
but the shop wasnt open
so i jus sat sumwhere at the mall n eat
so farnie la everyone's llike watchin
n oh. my nose
wheneva i blow.
muscus n BLLOOOD came out
gosh it was so bad until my boss ask if im ok
hmmm. then met qian for dinner
hmm. yea thats abt that.
hm. feeling kinda weird.
very very weird
sumthings not right
haiz
is that the ans'
i hope not
slp.slp.slp.
i`ve made a wish ;
11:56 PM
hmmm. dun know what hapened today
im tired of my life