* WISH UPON A STAR

click on the stars at the right to navigate.

argh.
if i wasnt a fren
i wouldnt have called to ask abt u
if i wasnt a fren
i wouldnt have told u all abt myself

but so what
i dun see any appreciation
what so u take me for?
so u really take me as a fren

pls. show me some respect
i was tryin to be conceerned
i might be too cooped up in my own studies
but dun u agree u ahve been too occupied with what u are doing
what brothers?
what fuck ?
fuck it man.

pls man.
if u are feelin down
dun mixed everything togetehr
cos i m feelin fuckin stressed down here
nabei.
im taotallly pissed man

i wonder what ahppen la
i tot u might be feelin down
but u are making facts out of fuckin reasons
u are jus venting ur frustrations
cool yea?
if u jus wana sumone to feel down as u
u got it
u've completed ur task

ah.
FUCK

i`ve made a wish ;
12:16 AM

ok this is the last hurdle im gonna croos
cos finally i've reach the final final paper
gosh. n its the most diff paper.
haiz kinda worried
haven really muggd for it

the other papers. can do
but not confident
haiz. there goes my hope. whatever top 5%
dream on man
seems so far from me now

cant belived i reached home so early
as early as three
with no one at home
n i mugged till now.
kinda bored
feels so weird n lonely to be home alone

haiz.
exam over le
hols coming le
work work n work again
saving up money
think im gonna buy a psp.

yea.
haiz.
i missed u so.
truly.deeply.madly

i`ve made a wish ;
7:38 PM

WAH.
TEST TEST TESt
all im facin are questions, ans, alphabets n words
ver very tired
hope i can slp now.
i think i m givin up on tml's sub
haiz.


slowly
unknowingly
i
am
drifting
away
from
everything

haiz

i`ve made a wish ;
11:55 PM

WAH.
TEST TEST TESt
all im facin are questions, ans, alphabets n words
ver very tired
hope i can slp now.
i think i m givin up on tml's sub
haiz.


slowly
unknowingly
i
am
drifting
away
from
everything

haiz

i`ve made a wish ;
11:55 PM

woke up with muscle aches all over
must have been the bball game on fri
nvrthelesss i orced myself to wake up

watched cartoon, studied for PIPC
yea. went to wei luo house to collect my stuffs
n went to parkway to mug
mug all the way till 7 plus
before jing yong came to pool with me

oh yea sumthing so concidence
my p sch fren's fren's cousin
was my fren whose fren is my fren's ex
kinda compplicating?
haha bt then i know all of them
u all so purposely
wanted to give me a shock n tot i was workin right
LOL. farnie sia.
mus study hard kae
prelims soming liao.
hor? valerie?
LOl. badmouthed me somemore
LOL.


yea. yuan yong n me
considerin in joining a bball competition
i m in for it guys
i wanna find back the old me
what n who i used to be.

why is it that the globe is still rotating
when my world had stoppped in its track
a long time way back.
a time when i lost u

i`ve made a wish ;
11:20 PM

another sunday.
thank god im off for work
n i need to mug real hard today
stacks of notes.

haiz.
i not stuck in the maze
for i've already seen the exit
however, i prefer to delude myself
n get trapped inside

lie to myself
blind myself
it might jus feel better

notes . paper.s words. calculations
here i come!

i`ve made a wish ;
12:34 PM

hmmm typical workin day.
xecpt that mugged real hard during break
hmmm kyle n jasmine went to macafe
so i went there in the evening break to mug
kinda lose out
think they mugged real hard

yeap aft work met yuan n yong
went 85 eat again
everyweek yea
kinda bored of the food there already

yeap.
mus mus mus
mug mug mug

hmm.
i hate to accept things i dun like
i hate to lose things i loved
i hate to face truth
i hate every single thing at this momment
my attitude jus sucks
i jus suck
argh.

.g.o.n.e.

i`ve made a wish ;
1:14 AM

hmm biocehmistry today
was kinda easy.
but i know i must not get complcaent
haven got to study other sub
i need to though

yea went to bugis aft test
went to arcade.
eat pasta
ocean baked.
hm.

walked to suntec
played pool at marina
went hom to luo house
played mahjong

came home
changed
played bball
thats all

yea.
i'll leave

i`ve made a wish ;
11:50 PM

hmmm. went out to mug at ECP today.
with my classmates.
sat down, facing the sea
feeling the breeze. watching the clouds
everything seemed so nice.
hmm yeap. aft tat
went to marine cove mac
studied there till seven i think
yeap. tml's the first paper.
i hope i m not gona screw up everything

feels like o levels now
cant slp.
i have a bad feeling im gonna do badly.
haiz i need losta luck

2 gangster.
who ever u are.
i dun care.
know u are tyrin to mean well
but aint any need to be vulgar yea
n i hate pple to ask me to watch out.


i'll walk away
if u'll feel better

i`ve made a wish ;
11:07 PM

why do poeple tend to hurt sumone
whom they love the most.
why do people only wake up n relaise their mistake
only when everything's ended
why do people nv treasure what they had
and ended up cryin over spilt milk.
why do i cry
in the middle of the night.

i really cant concentrate studyin for exams
i cant man.
i really wan to give up soon
dun wanna study anymore.

when the pain is unbearable
we'll do watever it takes to end the pain.
what if,
its my life which caused the pain?
end it ?

ARGH!

horo for today: results should be coming in today
somehting you've really wished for.

nahz.

i`ve made a wish ;
12:16 PM

hmmm... mugger's life.
bored + bored + bored
went for revision lect today.
kinda bored but i think he cleared my doubts
aft that went to pp to pool with classmates
then went down to MAcccafe to study.

one cup of cappucino
one cup of double chocolate
yummy. studied there till abt 7

yeap tml no lect
think going to study at ECP.
kinda crazy yea.
but really hope i can finish another sub
still gotaa work this weekend.
haiz.

i wonder why
every night when i look into the sky
there'll alawys be at least this very star
but its not here tonight
however, although sum things we cant see
we know very well its always there.
yea. always =)
same

only love can say
try again or walk away
i blive.

i`ve made a wish ;
12:02 AM

hm yar. went back for revision lecture
no hints but only went thru alot of questions.
aft that went home straight.
so early. haiz.
nothing much anymore.


guys. thanks for ya concern.
ur words or encouragement
but im m not that optimistic as i seem
im not that confident as i look
i used to have big dreams.
but i tink not anymore.
cos i realised no matter how hard u wished
it might not jus happen.
perharps i'll jus stick to being a small me
without any dreams.
nvrtheless, the small small dream,
the lil tiny hope that i really wished for.
will always stay with me.
even thought it might nvr occur.
but i really dun care anymore.
it hurts to have lost sumthing u love.
but it hurts more.
to go against my wish to forget everything
how i wish i can be the one
to share ur tears
to share ur joy
hmm...
perharps love is setting free
but i'll still love in silence
dun call me silly.
cos thats what i am

and to whoever u are
hiding right in tat corner
speakin ill of me.
let me tell u sumthing
THIS IS MY LIFE
my very own life.
n ONLY i have the bloody control over it
no matter what decision i make
no matter which route i choose
you've got no say in it.
cos i know very well what my heart wants
even if there's only a glimmer of a chance
or u feel that nothing would come up of it.
its my choice.
i'll nv change my views.
NEVEr.
u get that?
its my life.
my choice
what i do
who i love.
i know very well.
n it wun change
so stop ur nonsense.


ARgh. im gonna go berserk over all those studies
im wearin myself off man.

t.e.a.r.z.

i`ve made a wish ;
11:11 PM

gosh. mugged like hell today.
onyl manged to let myself catch some air
during aftnoon went kbox with yong
then played poool till abt 9
yeap. walkeed to bus stop.
sat there wait for bus
chat lil bout eveyrthing.
yeap.

im still in the midst of muggin
while others have proceeded to other subjects
im gonna die man.
haiz.
tml have to go for revision lectures
no more slp.
haiz.
sang so much today
then my throat went sore already.
those songs.
no. the song.
``

lalala

lookin back at when we fers met
i cant explain n i cannot forget
baby u are the one
you STILL turn me on.
YOu can make me whole AGAIN.

i`ve made a wish ;
11:33 PM

gosh. jus reached home.
tired out man. though jus ate at 85 with yuan yong n luo
kinda pig there. ate so much.

on my way to work.
saw bryan wong n that men fei chuan guy
'they filmin a food related show at parkway
yea. but din really care much though
yeap chongky met me for lunch.
dined at mac. n chatted losta things
work on it bro. i mean ur studies.
lolz. yeap saw valerie too.

i've got a big big prob here
I GOTTA MUG MUG MUG
but yet i aint doing anything
gosh. slap me awake sumone.
im way back behind my classmates
discipline man.

hink i gota mug soon.
else im gonna drive myself crazy
insanity.

r.e.m.e.m.b.e.r

i.m.p.a.c.t w.i.t.h.o.u.t. d.i.f.f.e.r.e.n.c.e

you.you.you.

i`ve made a wish ;
12:41 AM

gosh couldnt slp last night
wonder if it was the heat.
wonder if it was that im not tired
or it was something else.

gosh. have to get ready for work soon.
2you
jus wanna say a big thanks
for appreciating the pressie.
yeap needless to say
those beautiful memories will live within me.
n tanks for not forgetting them

haiz.
i have to mug.
real soon.

i cant belive i had a girl like u
n i jus let u walk right out of my life.
i know i m greedy'
but i dun wan jus memories to be remembered
i really wished for the chance
to relive those days
to create more memories.
yea i love u.

hmmm.
i missed u so.

i`ve made a wish ;
9:42 AM

well. jus back from bball
guessed what. i relaised i wasnt that good aft all
i played badly,
i scored badly for my quizzes
i failed in relationship
i failed as a fren.
i fail in every single thing i do
damn. feelin so low now.

anywya met with qian ck n hw
went to shaw to watch seak preview of lovewrecked
kinda celebrate a belated bday for qian yea
yeaps. walked arond aft that
kinda fell in love with the lego thingy
but nvr buy it
sorry wor ck. dissapoint u

yeap the movie wwas alright.
romance comedy i guess
aft that walked around
yeap came home, changed
n went for basketball
seems like a long time since i enjoyed a wkend

yeap. its been months
aft which i had gatehred all my courage
to hand that lil bk over
i know u wun like to talk abt it
n i definietly know
i wun ask or pester abt it
its been so long
so so long.
but yet i still can feel everything
i dun mean to put u in a awkward position
but all those words are my heartfelt feelings
gosh. what am i doing.
pardon me for saying this
but i still LOVE u.
yea.

do u rmb the time when we met
lng long ago
long long ago.


mug MUG MUGGG

i`ve made a wish ;
10:10 PM

hmmm.. what a day.
aft class there was nth to do
so we went to viod deck to play cards
hmm theress kinda some internal conflict within our clique
gosh. kinda caught in between
hope things will go well soon

anyway aft that went to tamp inter
met with dad, mum n sis for dinner
to celebrate dad's bday
haha dined at billy bomber's
though it was the fers time i dine there.
kinda bloated aft the meal
aft that we whole family went to take neoprint
wahahah so farnie
kinda happy thougyh
long time din go out as a family liao. wahhaah.
happy day overall

hm.
im still confsued.
i ought to make a decision soon.
im tired.
im really tired.
nobody even uds what im going thru man.

i wanna stay happy.
i wanna smile
i wanna laugh
i wanna shout it out loud.
i wanna...
iwanna...

i`ve made a wish ;
8:51 PM

ohhh. nothing much happened today.
sch was normal
except that lecture today was very tiring.

aft sch went to library to mug abit
slpt most of the time actually.
haha

then went home.
took my bball
n went down to play myself
long time since i did that
then i sat down alone in the court
facing the sky
gosh. how i mis that feeling.

hmmm. yea
happy birthday to dad
happy birthday to qian too

happy happy happy.

i`ve made a wish ;
12:02 AM

wow. i din realised i've got so many pics
guessed i was too lazy to upload.
random pics of recent outing
national day, fireworks, sentosa.
and a gathering with my bros.
wahhaah. too bad i dn capture the tornado
else it'll be great

well today played bball with yong for a short momemnt
though i wasnt what i used to be
but i manged to get the feel back
now i relaised i missed bball so much
it used to be my life

n well.
hmm im not showing sttitude or whatever shit la
jus that i dun lke to get disturbed while slpin
n i will be in bad mood when i got woke up
n with a headache, its impossible that i wil go out
so whatever k.

spent alot this few days.
think im gonna save up soon

gosh. i got the tornado pic from my fren
but cant upload it.

since the day u left.
my life has been a tornado.
its still brewin.

i`ve made a wish ;
10:52 PM

gosh been a long time since i blogged
went to sentosa on sunday
gosh we had real lotsa fun man.
haha all my bros, all those chicks =)
all the dun, sea the sand,
totallly mesmerized
been a long long time since i elaxed myself on a wkend
hmm yea. though it rained but well
i watched the whole thing
the water trnado
kinda cool though, n scary

wahhaha.
at night we dined at nooouch.
the noodle bar at paragon
then i realised there was so many restaurants there
going to diner more there nex time
n guessed whati went back to mambo to pool
and i actually found my ic there
kinda happy.

yeap. thats all all

last night went to pool with yong n yuan
then we bought a big cake
n went to eat coast to pinic.
haha bought a couple of shirts.

well.
i think that chances come n go
i think that its time to let go.
if things dun work out anymore.
i think i know what to do.

haiz.
i've got no courage
i dun know
whatever

i`ve made a wish ;
7:49 AM

well. jus reached home from supper
with yong n yuan after work
3 rHS staffs ate together
kinda weird lar.

anywya today was a normal day
except there was thie shoplifter
omg. he's damn stupid
he failed one atteppt n we closed one eye
but yet he came aother time
n we chased him
out of the shop until my manger pinned him down
he was pleading. but nvrtheless
the police came. gosh.
brought him away.
can see the fear thru his eyes man.


anyway im giong sentosa tml.
yea...! with all my bros.
gonan tke aot pics n upload them here


im gonna give this last try.
yea. last.

i`ve made a wish ;
12:32 AM

wooosh. feelin damn sick
like eating panadols everyday.
haiz. cant really breathe properly.
cant really concentarte during lecture

yeaps. took a guys nmber for meiping.
now they start to msg each other le
so happy for them.
must thank me and alden

aft sch met up with derek n alvin n bra
then went to pasta.
kinda scared to order ocean's baked
so ate some other thing
aft that went for pool at east point.

miss them so much
then aft that all the shops are closed
we jus took pics oof four os us
around the deserted shopping mall
waahhaha! =)

miss them lots.
sunday going with them to sentosa
cant wait for the day to come.

before reachng home
sae some bball frens at void deck
chatted with them abt studies and stuffs
for half n hour.
LOL.

gosh im dead beat now.
yawn
still feeln abit sick.

haiz.

n i swear.
if u come back in my life
i'll be there till the end of time.

if.you.come.back.

i`ve made a wish ;
12:50 AM

yeap. went ndp ytd
wnderful fireworks eh.
anyway i think im super sick now
my mouth taste bland
feel like vommitting
my nose can breathe
my throat kips coughin
damn. why do i hve to fall sick.

today went study with yong aft sch
then found out abt sum misunderstandings
which might happen some time ago

hey ya.
jus wanna say.
from the past i've learnt
not to bug ur frens to ask abt u
so yea. i din bug anyone
but sumhow perharps she jus told me
but belive me
i really din ask
or bug anyone.
yeaps. i've learnt.
hope u belive,

anyway i think this happened some time ago
learnt it from yong.
yeap. think its a misunderstanding.
i've grown i guessed

i feel like puking
cant stand the sicky feeling
jus go away will ya?

im filled with thoughts la
too heavy for a sick man to handle.
haiz.

i think u know i stil love u
n i definitely know it too
but the irony is ?
will it make any diff ?

gosh. i need the pill
i neeed panadol .

tml quiz i think im gonna flunk. damn.

i`ve made a wish ;
11:06 AM

well. guessed what. i fell sick.
haiz. i dun wan!
all those block nose, farnie voice
n those itchy throats
haiz...

well went to sing k box at ms
shouted like hell
im like no more voice.
lastnight went to MS or fireworkds with classmates
wonder if i wasnt feelin well
or i dun seem to like crowds
all of a sudden my brain was so haevy
n that all those voices rang thru my head
i kinda lost my direction for that momment
guess im too sick liao.

reached home at 12. without havin dinner
thank god i have some cup noodles to fill my stomach
anyway i found out that soursop works more than milk
haiz. im so so sick

there's one ting im very sure
the momment u appeared in my sight
u've lighted my whole world.

you, yes, you
still.

i`ve made a wish ;
12:01 PM

wah. im like jus woke up from a lng slp
hmm... 9 am now.
dundayi've workedtill 1am.
reached home at 2am. woke up at 7 am
my eyes were swollen man.
thank god i manged to pull thr the day
af ach stll sympathise yong acc him

din really wanna play pool
but well. jus acc him.
hhmmm. yea sumthing so concidence happen
was it jus luck.
but i was really jus mentioning abt it
and u really appeared.
went to drink with him aft that
n he fell from the rock.
like OMG la. LOL cant stop luffing.

well well. im sick.
running nose. cough.
gosh. and oh yar.
heard from qian that the pasta meal
cosed her food poisoning.
sorry yea. pulled u to dine there.
LOL. anyway i viisted the stall
the guys till working there.
n hey. jus take care yea.
i heard that warm milk worksbut well. i think yong's words cant be trusted too much
jus take care yea. u look kinda pale

hmm. yeap. OH YA
must remember to brinf port folio in case i forget.
thought ytd as deadline
today only have lessons for 2 hours.
nice!

hmm... thats abt that.

you realy light up my day.
you've always been sumwhere
deep in my heart

i`ve made a wish ;
9:03 AM

hmmmm... welll well.
a normal workin day.
xcept that dun know why i cant seem to find the things i wanted
and while i was seeping the store
i hit my waist against a metal rack.
kinda swollen n painful. ouch
gosh. i thinki offended some customers?
hope not.
yeap. switched break with dan.
so treated him to a drink.
haha. yeap. thanks.
hmm.. thats abt all yea.


here's the highlight of today:
i met qian n went to pasta for dinner
ok. she placed her cookies on the table
n went both went to order
SUDDENLY we glanced over n her cookies' gone
shocked, both of us looked at teh waiter
he gave us a shocked face too
think he's kiinda intimidated by qians' fierce look la
haha. he dumped in into the bin.
he was so pai seh sia.
he still wanna pay for it.
but we jus made him took it back la.
hahaz. come to think abt it im still luffin la
n there she was still fuming over that incident dring the meal
LOL.

yea. saw debbie.
visited me during work
sorry wor. was busy thus din say hi
yeap saw sally also. din say hi too
so sorry. haha

oc test on mon.
im still not studyin. gosh.

2 *toy owner:
im still interested in the *toy.
im still waiting fr the day
that u'll hand it to me.
i hope u'll.
seriuosly.

todays pasta tasted exceptionally well.
i wonder why.

i`ve made a wish ;
11:48 PM

well well.
pipc quiz. i think i can handle it
aft that long lectures..
went for break..
ate. went lib.
lied down at cable tv station

thats abt all.
yeap. aft sch went bbt with classmates
then met yong at tm
ate at ajisen....
well.w alked around.
wonder what happened to me
but i actually lost to yong
in my racing
haiyo

hmmm.. still searchin for my ic
hmmm...
no sign of return for my ic
i dun kinda care.
but what abt the sign of return of u?
will it ever be possible

oh ya. watched the fnal episode of the love zero degree
nice n sweet endin
what a endin my mum n me wished for
waahahahz.
they've lost a chance to be toegther
but yet in the end. they still end up together
izzit jus some televisiong prgramme
or can someone tell me thats gonna happen in reality
hmmm. haiz.

2 jy.
thanks for advertisin my name in ur blog
i'll advertise for u too.
i think aft some time.
she will get her thinkins thru
so dun worry la

yeaps.
tired liao
tml workin.

i belive in 2nd chance.
but....
it doesnt seem to belive in me.

i`ve made a wish ;
12:43 AM

hmmm got back 2 result today
my maths quiz. 23/25
i was so happy
my oc 10/20
glad that i scrape thru

well. well.
i think what i blog might have cause too huge an impact.
guys i really dun mean anyting
hope that it do not have any bad impact.
anyway. i now like muggin
cos i have 3 test tml.
haiz. n major exams coming
haiz. im totally stressed
i really need basketball

2spidey
love is nvr lost.
its sumthing which is always within u
im sure can always find it back
unless u give up.
so. find it back

2derek.
miss ya s much can
sorry if i offend u with my post okae.
meet u nex weekend la

2 kelly
sorry im really busy lately
sorry. u take care oke

2 =)
well well.
u still dun wanna reveal ur identity yea

2yuan n yong
take thigns that come ur way
sometimes we must learn to accept.

hmm yea.
if losing my ic
was losing an importatnt thing
i lost sumthing more imporrtant
cos i have lost you.
a year ago.
haiz.

i`ve made a wish ;
12:09 AM

i feel so disappointed
i hope its some kinda glitch in frenster
why do u have to dlete those testi
cant u let me take some beautiful memories awaya with me
i kinda lost everything all of a sudden.
ARGH.

i`ve made a wish ;
7:18 AM

hey . now lets be truthful to one another
i cant take it anyone
so i think u guys cant hold the secrets within u any further too
why not jus be clean with each other
n i think sure;y things will get better.

lets starts with my brother
to derek:
hey bro. long time no see
n i think u grown more stupid la
i uds u are a devoted guy
uds that u haven got thru kelly.
but why haven u asked urself
if she stills feel the same ?
both of u are like confidin in me.
but yet at the same problem
isnt that too concidence?
jus for ur info.
that nght while me msged
u BOTH msg me at the same time
n tell me abt the same thing i guessed
so. whats does fate wants to say?

to kelly:
im so sorry i have to apologise
i m so cooped up with my work
n when u have probs
i dun have time to tok to u
i promise i drop u a call tml yea
yeaps. now u know
that ass hasnt got over u
but promise me
i dun wana becos what i have saed
to cos an impact to ur studies
i shound thave told u but i did
so well. i m kinda confused too
i dun know what i m doing =(
jus wanna both of u to like wake up a lil
n be more clear in ur thoughts.

to jing yong:
you've been so down for so many many days
becos of shin
i uds that she has been cold to u
what not jus let the truth out
like u did i guessed
at least u know the problem
at least she tryin to make u uds
rather than make u give up
treasure everything before u
dun follow in my steps.
u can see the agony in me i guessed

i really wan u guys to stay happpy ok.
now this applies to kel n der
no matetr what the consequnces will be like.

not to miss out.

to jun yuan :
i know u are super confused.
n i know its not really convenient to blog here
jus wanna say.
belive in urself more.
u have what it takes
everyone does.
hope to see u all smile.
not to see all of ur tears.
there can be miracles
onlt when u belive

well well. have i covered evrything
to:kiss 5
wahah how i wished i could blog
but i wasnt invited there
anyway. hongwee. long time no see le
take care yea
n ck bro. saw u in sch but
i was ina rush
catch up some other time yea.

to gary:
wake up
u need to wake up
fairy tales ? happy ending?
u think it will ever happen to u?
aren't u jus too silly?
arent u stupid?
arent u tired
when was the last time u really smiled
can u even remember ?
so u think she's ever gonna come back ?
so u'll think everything will happen in the way u wan ?
so u think jus prayin every night
thinkin every night
n the happy ending will come?
dream on. ur thougths carried u too far
haiz.

argh. what the hell am i doing man
i cant belive
argggghhhhh. need basketball badly.
i need an outlet.
fast.

im still lookin for my ic
im still seekin for something.
wait a minute
i think.
its still u.

i`ve made a wish ;
11:14 PM

i feel so disappointed
i hope its some kinda glitch in frenster
why do u have to dlete those testi
cant u let me take some beautiful memories awaya with me
i kinda lost everything all of a sudden.
ARGH.

i`ve made a wish ;
7:18 AM

* M E

gary
Duman / TP
21 JUNE oneNINEeightyNINE

* L O V E S

yOu
yes
YOU.

* W I S H E S

yOu
yes
YOU.

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