ok. i so very dun lke the life now.
i jus dun know why
at the end of the day
i cant seem to go slp with an empty mind
there's sure things that are there
inside my head.
makes me wonder.
pains my heart
welll first. i forgot i coudnt take beef at home
and i brought a swisss mush burger home
in the end i threw it away
i dun know..i just felt kinda lost
my world reallly seemed so empty now.
maybe u can call this loneliness man
when i wake up,
its either eevryone's still aslp.
i dun even get to exchange a few words
with my mum n dad
when i got home.
its always home alone.
a cold dark apartment.
and when my parents cme home
i'll be aslp.
seriuosly i reallly feel lonely at times.
i dun know why.
but i really mss the feeling of being cared
being concerned
slowly, i think i'll lose this feeling.
nah. i shouldnt think in this way.
i know i shouldnt
but guess what.
its heart over mind now.
in fact.
i feel kinda down now.
nothing feels right
cos nth ever goes right for me.
thats what im feeling right now. =(
and to swtheart
im sorry i dun know how to cheer u up kae.
im a bad consoler.
im not good with words.
but cheer up anyway alright.
=) would loved to see ur smile
alright. peace out.
i`ve made a wish ;
12:40 AM
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
alright. frist week of sch.
super slack.
i only had 2 lectures today
aft that supposed to send swtheart home
but ended up in bugis with her family.
so walked around n shopped
thanks kae. i enjoyed ur company.
reached home. dined. n i fell aslp.
all the way till ten.
when i woke up only sis was at home
sillly. cheer up ok.
its not ur fault.
im sure things will be fine sooon
anytimeu need someone to talk to or what
i will be here ok.
alrigh. goottta read immunlogy tb soon
and i think i jus now kinda twosted my knee
and i walk n its painful.
ahhh aiya sian!
stupid.
=(
i`ve made a wish ;
11:34 PM
ohhh sch has started!
well... i think things are not that bad lar
i still can sit with myres during lecture
jus that my tut class... abit quiet ehhh
some dun really seem friendly.
but i think it shall be ok as time go pass
guessed what. todays 2 mth anni
thanks for spendng the day with me kae
i had a wonderful time..
wonderful movie. 200 pounds beauty
wonderful meal. fish n co
wonderful gift. my chest of love
thanks for the effort ok.
those lil wordings
those lil stickers
all those effort are reallly appreciated.
thanks for everything
aiya. my com now like got virus
i onl manged to print some notes.
guess i'lll have to do my research for article tml.
and tml's an early early day
mum told me about grandpa
yea i think this weeekend gotta go visit him
hmmm yeap.
trust me.
it will sustain
forever.
i`ve made a wish ;
10:37 PM
alright. i need someone to talk to
i dun know why.
but im feeling so pisssed
so frustrated.
so angered
ni really feel sick
i couldnt breathe
im sinking.
first. abt work.
im real sick of workin
im real tired.
im pissed by those silly attitudes
im pissed by those stares
but i really dun know what i should do
nxt family.
things arent really going on very well here
in fact. its not good at all
i shoulnt say tooo much
furthermore. i rarely get to see ervyone now
and when i reach home from wrk
its always home alone
sudddenly i really feel so lonely.
n i really feell so lost.
lost among the thoughts
did i lose my temper yet again ?
im sorrry...
but i hated the way we talked.
it made us feel so distanced
or did it really happen ?
alright i shall end all these crapz
you know what
i shall jus eat n slp
sch's startiin.
im really beginning to fear.
whatver.
why does it always feel so shittty when u are feeling down
and its always at this point of time where u always feel theres no one who will sit down n listen.
haiz.
i feel bettter off dead
i`ve made a wish ;
11:21 PM
ok backed form orientation camp today.
was posted to be a station master.
what can i say. it was damn cool la.
you get to make the freshies cheer..
you get to see them play...
though it was tiring.
but i did enjoyed myself...
worked myself out.
i slpt almost the whole day away today.
now im feeling slppy again =(
anw timetable's out.
haiz. dun wish to commment on it.
ohh hey kellly. long time no see
how you doing le ?
take care okae...
sch's starting for me liao. =( haha
alright. slp slp slp.
n myres.! we are separated. damn!
i`ve made a wish ;
11:04 PM
ok woke up very early today.
went to pay respect to grandma
met up with aunties n cousins.
those two little ones went along too =)
and they told me the balllons spoilt. lol.
kinda spent some time there
it was pretty crowded too.
aft that made our way home.
ate... bathed... n i slpt again
gosh think i slpt alot these few days.
and i din have proper meals too.
the brothers. lol.
ok bosss jus called me
told me that im workin till 3 tml
workin on tues, fri,sat and sun.
how crazy.
seriuosly im really thinkin of quttting.
yeap.
thousand apologies for u.
imsorry
i`ve made a wish ;
11:06 PM
jus what is wrong with me.
how many stacks n boxes of shoes i've kicked
n made them fall?
seriuosly im getttin ssick of this job.
u have to bear with pple's attitude
u have to stand all day
you must swalllow ur pride
you must smile . smile . smile
even though you are jus feeling so down
i feel that i cant breathe all of a sudden
there's jus something pressing down against me.
eat.slp.work.
thats my new routine i guess
alright. no work today finallly.
but means no plans for the day as well
rotting off.
i`ve made a wish ;
8:32 AM
i badly neeed a new blogskin.
can someone be kind enough to help me ?
hmmm ok. i shant let history repeat
shant let my emtions rule over mind
i should control how i feel
not let how i feel control me.
i've got to be understadning
i cant lose my cool at this point of time
im sorry yea. i shouldnt feel that way
i dint want either
haiz. i dun know lar..
i dn even understand myselft
how cn i expect others to uds me?
yea. contradict.
jus slp.
i`ve made a wish ;
12:09 AM
haiz.... its driving me nuts
i actually spent the day slpin awaay
not my usual behaviuor yea
im reallly misssing you lots.
can see you for barely one hour
n i dun even know when i can see u next
yes. i very much wanted to chat with u
but i know u are busy.
hmm. nah im jus listening to tooo much sad songs
it made my moood wen blue too
haiz... ok. i drank 40% vodka.
now i tell u.
im seriuosly drunk.
wah..
maybe i shall jus go slp again. =(
i`ve made a wish ;
11:43 PM
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
ahhh think i had too much beer last night
now i abit headache like that
alright the funtion last night was super grand
it was my company's dinner and dance.
everyone looked smart in their wear
n i took pictures here n there
shalll upload them next time
well i would say the event was satisfying
there were games, awards, foood, beeer
haha and alex n i weer jus screenin the balllroom for babes
lol thats so what lar...
alright. cabbbed home aft the whole event.
kinda looking forward to next year's one.
and it'll be so nice if they allow us to bring frens over
so i'll defnitely bring my sweetheart there
lol. and oh yar. one guy actuallly propsed to her gf on stage
thats like omg. such a surprise
n he still won a plasma tv.
going for mahjong now
n i have to work at 6
hope i wun be relase too late
so i might pick stheart home.
hey i reallly misssed u man
god. haiz. anyway tonight u can slp
on ur comfy bed le
u deserve all the rest yea
alright. so long =)
i`ve made a wish ;
10:02 AM
calm after the storm.
no. its a storm aft one.
firstly. to sweet heart.
i sincerely apologise.
its all my bad.
i wun allow it to happen again yea.
i hate men who make women cry
i swear to myself i'll nv make girl cry
even if thats not possible. i'll try my best
if u wanna talk abt respect
pls. my respect for u is wearin thin
my patience is wearing thin
call that my bad temper.
i cant jus sit down there n do nothing
did someting clot in ur brain?
why cant u process ur thoughts properly?
or u need something to hapen until u really wake up
until the day then u will feel super remorseful
pls. dun try me
i can do anything
im aint kidding
so many thughts jus ran into my mind
i can do lots of crazy things
till then. ur remorse will be too late
n thanks for listenin to me
though i din speak
thanks for being there.
dun be silly abt not consoling me.
i jus need u there
though not by my side.
but thanks. i could have felt u are right beside.
love ya.
im sorry, i can't be perfect
even heroes have the right to bleed
i`ve made a wish ;
12:13 AM
jus woke up form a long long slp.
sis bday ytd. spent the whole day at the chalet.
helped to decorate, cooked and stuufff
thanks for being there and helped me out kae
it had been a busy day for u.
well it was fun. many pple came
my cousins, aunties. uncles
my grandmother my frens
n yea now everyone knows u already lol.
nv reallly ate much.
went around to entertain ppeeps.
esp the kids yea. lucky we got balloons.
n oh yar i burnt myself
n the scar's damn ugly.
the stars, the mooon the sea.
and you by my side
n yes. that was the prettiest sunrise.
spent the night at the chalet.
unti the nex morning.
actallly decided to movie
but ended up going home
deicided to perharps meet up.
but it was cancellled too.
seriously, i know i have to be understadning.
but yet. i reallly cant help by feelin disappointed
cos we like cant see each other till when sch starts
nah i so very dun like this feeling.
neither can i play the goood guy
neither can i be he bad guy
so what the hell am i supposed to do.
yea slp. i slpt my whole day away today.
haiz.. someone tell me what to do can.
im feeling so arggghhh.
nvm. i guesss i should jus keeep everythign to myself
swalllow everything down.
and things might get bettter.
you nvr knew.
i`ve made a wish ;
8:31 PM
finallly work ended.
i was super pisssed during work today
wait. so was it my fault?
both of u are in charge.
but both gave diff orders
so who am i suppposed to listen to.
one say sell. one say no.
so? what am i suppose to do?
and whatever man. show respect.
if u aint got that.
dun ever tink i'll respect u.
it wasnt my fault.
but why are u tellin me off in front of the customer.
damn it man.
now as i reflect.
what shhould i say abt working life.
well i made real nice frens
i met real nice pple.
n i learnt one thing.
no mattter what happen when u are out there
tolerance is the key.
you musnt lose ur coool
i guessed thats why reallly kept me going until today
else i'll left long ago.
well sis bday now.
happy birthday yea.
wanted to hand her her present.
but she aint at home.
well i hope tml will be a nice day. =)
lets hope i wueb sleepy tml
i`ve made a wish ;
1:06 AM
hmmm. woke up at 7 today.
met daniel for a run again.
ahhh if he hadnt pushed me on
i think i wun finish the run. lol.
aft that met sweetheart.
went to pay respect to her grandfather
then we went to lunch.
before we went bowling.
ended up dining at 85 =)
super tired.
leg muscle tear
shoulder joint still hurts
hand muscle ache.
=(
sometimes i tot we can at least exchange few more words
but sometiems it jus seems u are pushin me away.
nvm ar.perharps maybe i go slp
it'll be bettter
nvm nahhhh nothing.. all stupid thoughts
no one gets bothereed anyway.
nights to all.
ultra tired mind.
i`ve made a wish ;
12:07 AM
alright. tooothache! ah!
damn it made me waste my buffet dinnner
ok yong came my house in morning.
passed me the blazer. but wasnt what i wanted
thanks anyway lar.
so we went parkway to pool....
then i bought my blazer. 65$ quite cheap la
gosh my money's running low man,
i must scrimp like helll sooon
busssed down to MS aft that
watch TMNT!
imagine two guys watch this show
like omg lar. lol.
but well. a show on brotherhood
worth catching ar
but im still loookin forward to sunshine!
walked around ms. suntec. to raffles. to bugis
and we settled for steamboat buffet
halfway thru my toothache attacked again =(
ahh damn. my shoulder still hurts.
think im getting old liao.
anw hav to go for my run tml again
hope it'll be a good weather.
n lastly. i really looking forward to sis bday
and last but not least. the RSH annual dnd.
man both are the highlights.
i hope it'll be real fun.
1) no more restaurants this month
2) no more splurging on clothes
ahhh how to survive like that.... lol.
anw feel kinda down.
wonder why. ? jus feeling kinda blue.
idiot. argh.
i`ve made a wish ;
10:49 PM
ahhhhh her last day of camp. finallly.
yea last day of 3 working days.
ytd took part in the super sports team thing
oragnised by rsh
i reppresented thomson la.
and they got into semi finals
they ssay they need me again
n i hope they give me their prize
wahhahaa!
ok i wonder how i sprained my shoulder
ok lar not as in sprain
but the pain has been coming n going often
think i hurt in in bbballl last time.
okok. nothing more to write =( take care yea.
rest welll when u reach home today!
i`ve made a wish ;
9:19 AM
